Tag Archives: surgeon

For once, I ain’t got much to say.

Bless me readers, for I have sinned. Its been nearly four weeks since my last blog post. I have no excuse other than sheer laziness and well, the whole lack of having anything of interest to share.

Since my last update I’ve been back with the surgeon and given the all-clear to return to work, which I did on Monday, this week. It was emotional and draining, to say the least, but I’m glad to be back in the saddle. To be honest, I kinda missed the humdrum of normality and the daily routine. I missed being in Dublin with the boy. I missed my friends here too. Despite being in mucho pain still, it was time to return.

As for the girls, well, Lefty is looking mighty fine. Only a few external stitches left to dissolve and she’s all good on the healing front. Unfortunately, Righty is still struggling, but getting there. She’s like the proverbial Ugly Duckling; I’ve got high hopes for her though. Seemingly, the constant pain will continue for another six months, at least. I still can’t exercise and since the surgery, six weeks ago, I’ve piled on an unsightly amount of weight. I don’t care though, its all worth it for the new, tiny, perky boobs. Oh and did I mention that the back and shoulder pain is gone. Yup, all gone…..hallelujah!

In other news, I am preparing myself for an exciting December; there’s lots going on. This also includes a trip to New York with the boy. First trip of the year and our first break away together. The poor guy has no idea what he has let himself in for. He hasn’t experienced my crazy stateside shopping addiction yet. It’ll be quite the test, I’m sure.

Soon after that I have my sisters wedding; two days after Christmas actually. All I have to do now is find the perfect gúna to wear on the day. I’m hoping NY helps me out on that front.


My Lovely Lady Lumps

It’s two weeks to the day since the surgery and it has been an eventful time, for sure; well, eventful as it can be for someone who is housebound and totally dependent on her nearest and dearest.

Anyhoo, since I last updated you I’ve been to see my magical surgeon twice; twice this week actually. See, there was a tiny complication, which was only discovered on Monday. Basically, I have partial necrosis of the right nipple areola or righty as I like to call her. The chances of this kind of complication are 0.8%. Yup, you read that correctly and yet I still managed to end up with it. So, necrosis occurs when there isn’t enough blood flow to the tissue and in turn it dies. (Apologies to the squeamish of you out there reading this)

My last visit with the surgeon, yesterday, was a positive one and he seems to think that with a whole heap of “time and hand holding” (his words) things will come good. If that doesn’t work there are always skin grafts. Unfortunately, this does set back the healing process a little but hey, it’ll be totally worth it for a ‘rocking rack’.

Speaking of which, Dena has kindly named my nipples, lefty is Rose and righty is Lucinda; she didn’t think it through very well but her heart was in the right place. She also brought me the most delightful gift last weekend; homemade boobie cupcakes with giant nipples.

Lovely Lady Lumps

They represent my new lady lumps perfectly.


Say hello to my little friends….

It’s Day Three in the New Boobies household and everything seems to be going fine.

I’m sleeping well during the day and at night; despite being in a world of pain that I never knew I could endure. I’ve actually impressed myself with my new and improved pain threshold to be honest. Sure, it’s been aided by the pain meds, but they don’t get to take all the credit.

To rewind a little and update y’all; I had the surgery at 1.30pm on Saturday afternoon, 2nd October. My surgeon, well, he’s awesome. The Blackrock Clinic was superb and the quality of care couldn’t be faulted. The nursing staff there is second to none.

Following just over three hours surgery, I was back in my room & ready for a visit from the folks and Christian by 6.30pm that evening. Seemingly I was highly entertaining in my doped up state. I’ll have to take their word for it as I can’t remember much of it other than being ecstatically happy with my new boobs.

I was sent home on Sunday afternoon, armed with a list of do’s and don’ts and an arsenal of pain relief where I was welcomed with this adorable homemade poster courtesy of my sister, Lynn and nieces, Jude (9yrs old) and Millie (4yrs old).

Since then, I’ve spent most of my time sleeping, reading, watching TV and being waited on hand and foot by various members of my family. They are incredible and I’m genuinely thankful. The care rota is working out well with the priceless addition of a baby monitor, I might add, so they can hear me when I holler for ‘em. To be fair though, I am pretty helpless and hugely dependent on them for even the simplest of tasks. Your pride really does take a backseat as soon as you have to be aided with trips to the loo, getting dressed and undressed and all other manner of regular and mundane tasks.

Aside from all that, I’m doing wonderfully. The recovery is slow and arduous, but the results outweigh this minor detail a million times over. I’m now practically chomping at the bit for my first official outing with ‘the new girls’ where they get to meet their devoted followers.

So, I think that brings y’all up to date on BoobieGate. Speaking of which, ladies, what do you call your boobs? Boys, what do you refer to them as? There’s the obvious boobies, breasts, mammaries, cha-cha’s, itty bitty titties (thanks Dena) fun-bags, melons, muffins, but what else do we call them? Just throw up your offering on the auld comment box there; it’s good for a chuckle. Plus, I’ll post a full list of names when you’re done.

Only thing left to say today is to remind everyone out there that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month; ladies check your boobs and please donate anywhere you can.

Other than that,  THANK YOU.

Thank you so much to everyone who has read this blog. Thank you for the comments here, on Facebook and Twitter.

Thanks to everyone for the texts, calls and emails. Your kind words, help and advice have been overwhelming and unprecedented.  As I like to say a lot, YOU ROCK!

P.S: Gracias to Lynn for typing up this blog post for me.


Emotional roller coaster for one……

To say that Monday was a day of highs and lows wouldn’t even begin to cover things!

There really is nothing quite like kick-starting your day on a high by showing a complete stranger your naked boobies. Ok, ok, he wasn’t exactly a stranger; he was my new surgeon in the Blackrock Clinic and this was my first consultation since I’d been referred to him. Anyways, I’m in the waiting room with the boy and all I can think is ‘I hope his hands aren’t cold’; anything to distract me from the task at hand. No pun intended, I swear.

So, I’m finally called to ‘meet my maker’, (well, he is going to make me new boobs) so to speak, and he turned out be a pleasant, professional gentleman who had a no-nonsense attitude and didn’t pull any punches or sugar-coat the upcoming procedure. After the initial chat was over with, it was time to unleash the puppies.

Seriously though, there’s truly nothing more mortifying and humbling than standing in front of a stranger, topless, letting the girls hang out, wild and free.

With the measuring and photographs done it was time to discuss the pros and cons of the surgery. It’s never a pleasant thing to learn that you run a 1% risk of losing your nipples entirely due to this kind of reduction mammoplasty. It’s probably the one part of the procedure that doesn’t sit too comfortably with me, if I’m honest. Fortunately, the pros more than outweigh the cons and I’m going for it.

I’ve been given a surgery date of Saturday 2nd October, which is only over 3 weeks away now. That’s just enough time to prepare but not enough time to panic and freak out.

So, following the super-successful appointment in the Blackrock, I then found myself belting it up the M1 towards Drogheda and the Lourdes hospital for my next consultation. This time to meet the ENT surgeon (Ear, Nose Throat), with whom I had a consultation with in March of this year. It was finally time to get my MRI results…..only 6 months late, but hey, who’s counting.

After a 90 minute wait, my name is eventually called and I am greeted politely by another pleasant doctor-type who informs me that my MRI has shown a small growth between my inner ear and my brain. He tells me not to panic, in a calm and reassuring voice. He tells me that the growth seems to be benign but he’s referring me to a Neurosurgeon to check it out. Again, he tells me not to panic.

At this stage I’m having what can only be described as an outer body experience. I can’t believe what I’m hearing and I feel like I’m watching the scenario unfold from above. This is funny in itself as the reason I’m seeing him is due to my lack of hearing in my left ear. As I try to process what I’ve been told, I’m practically whisked out the door with the Neurosurgeons’ details in hand and I’m sent on my way, dazed and confused. So, this, as you can only imagine, is the low to my high

And there you have it. I’m a crock! If I were a horse I’d be in a glue factory by now. Thankfully I’m not and very soon I’ll have new boobs and no more back, shoulder and neck pain.

Just for the hell of it, here’s a song about doctors……thanks to The Blizzards