To say that Monday was a day of highs and lows wouldn’t even begin to cover things!
There really is nothing quite like kick-starting your day on a high by showing a complete stranger your naked boobies. Ok, ok, he wasn’t exactly a stranger; he was my new surgeon in the Blackrock Clinic and this was my first consultation since I’d been referred to him. Anyways, I’m in the waiting room with the boy and all I can think is ‘I hope his hands aren’t cold’; anything to distract me from the task at hand. No pun intended, I swear.
So, I’m finally called to ‘meet my maker’, (well, he is going to make me new boobs) so to speak, and he turned out be a pleasant, professional gentleman who had a no-nonsense attitude and didn’t pull any punches or sugar-coat the upcoming procedure. After the initial chat was over with, it was time to unleash the puppies.
Seriously though, there’s truly nothing more mortifying and humbling than standing in front of a stranger, topless, letting the girls hang out, wild and free.
With the measuring and photographs done it was time to discuss the pros and cons of the surgery. It’s never a pleasant thing to learn that you run a 1% risk of losing your nipples entirely due to this kind of reduction mammoplasty. It’s probably the one part of the procedure that doesn’t sit too comfortably with me, if I’m honest. Fortunately, the pros more than outweigh the cons and I’m going for it.
I’ve been given a surgery date of Saturday 2nd October, which is only over 3 weeks away now. That’s just enough time to prepare but not enough time to panic and freak out.
So, following the super-successful appointment in the Blackrock, I then found myself belting it up the M1 towards Drogheda and the Lourdes hospital for my next consultation. This time to meet the ENT surgeon (Ear, Nose Throat), with whom I had a consultation with in March of this year. It was finally time to get my MRI results…..only 6 months late, but hey, who’s counting.
After a 90 minute wait, my name is eventually called and I am greeted politely by another pleasant doctor-type who informs me that my MRI has shown a small growth between my inner ear and my brain. He tells me not to panic, in a calm and reassuring voice. He tells me that the growth seems to be benign but he’s referring me to a Neurosurgeon to check it out. Again, he tells me not to panic.
At this stage I’m having what can only be described as an outer body experience. I can’t believe what I’m hearing and I feel like I’m watching the scenario unfold from above. This is funny in itself as the reason I’m seeing him is due to my lack of hearing in my left ear. As I try to process what I’ve been told, I’m practically whisked out the door with the Neurosurgeons’ details in hand and I’m sent on my way, dazed and confused. So, this, as you can only imagine, is the low to my high
And there you have it. I’m a crock! If I were a horse I’d be in a glue factory by now. Thankfully I’m not and very soon I’ll have new boobs and no more back, shoulder and neck pain.
Just for the hell of it, here’s a song about doctors……thanks to The Blizzards