Say hello to my little friends….

It’s Day Three in the New Boobies household and everything seems to be going fine.

I’m sleeping well during the day and at night; despite being in a world of pain that I never knew I could endure. I’ve actually impressed myself with my new and improved pain threshold to be honest. Sure, it’s been aided by the pain meds, but they don’t get to take all the credit.

To rewind a little and update y’all; I had the surgery at 1.30pm on Saturday afternoon, 2nd October. My surgeon, well, he’s awesome. The Blackrock Clinic was superb and the quality of care couldn’t be faulted. The nursing staff there is second to none.

Following just over three hours surgery, I was back in my room & ready for a visit from the folks and Christian by 6.30pm that evening. Seemingly I was highly entertaining in my doped up state. I’ll have to take their word for it as I can’t remember much of it other than being ecstatically happy with my new boobs.

I was sent home on Sunday afternoon, armed with a list of do’s and don’ts and an arsenal of pain relief where I was welcomed with this adorable homemade poster courtesy of my sister, Lynn and nieces, Jude (9yrs old) and Millie (4yrs old).

Since then, I’ve spent most of my time sleeping, reading, watching TV and being waited on hand and foot by various members of my family. They are incredible and I’m genuinely thankful. The care rota is working out well with the priceless addition of a baby monitor, I might add, so they can hear me when I holler for ‘em. To be fair though, I am pretty helpless and hugely dependent on them for even the simplest of tasks. Your pride really does take a backseat as soon as you have to be aided with trips to the loo, getting dressed and undressed and all other manner of regular and mundane tasks.

Aside from all that, I’m doing wonderfully. The recovery is slow and arduous, but the results outweigh this minor detail a million times over. I’m now practically chomping at the bit for my first official outing with ‘the new girls’ where they get to meet their devoted followers.

So, I think that brings y’all up to date on BoobieGate. Speaking of which, ladies, what do you call your boobs? Boys, what do you refer to them as? There’s the obvious boobies, breasts, mammaries, cha-cha’s, itty bitty titties (thanks Dena) fun-bags, melons, muffins, but what else do we call them? Just throw up your offering on the auld comment box there; it’s good for a chuckle. Plus, I’ll post a full list of names when you’re done.

Only thing left to say today is to remind everyone out there that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month; ladies check your boobs and please donate anywhere you can.

Other than that,  THANK YOU.

Thank you so much to everyone who has read this blog. Thank you for the comments here, on Facebook and Twitter.

Thanks to everyone for the texts, calls and emails. Your kind words, help and advice have been overwhelming and unprecedented.  As I like to say a lot, YOU ROCK!

P.S: Gracias to Lynn for typing up this blog post for me.


It’s the final countdown

In the past I’ve been known to be a complete stress-ball and total panic merchant, especially when it comes to major events in my life. Now for some reason I’m not, and my cool and calm demeanour has left me slightly bemused.

I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. I actually welcome the tranquil headspace. The truth of the matter is that I haven’t had the time to think about the reality of the situation ahead of me. I’ve been so slammed with work and overtime and gigs and catching up with friends and travelling home to see the family, I’ve been in quite the tailspin of late.

This evening though, it finally dawned on me that I’ve only SIX days to go. A mere six days left with the girls before they’re minimised and perkified. This served no purpose other than to remind me that I’m putting my life, and boobs, in the hands of one man. Thankfully, this man is good, he’s better than good actually and probably one of the top surgeons in his field in Europe; this fact goes a long way to reassuring me again that all will be fine.

In the past week people have been asking me “are you all set for the surgery”, ehm, yes. “Are you worried about it?” eh, thanks for the inappropriate query, but feck off. “Do you need any help with anything?” And this is where I’ve been overwhelmed with people’s genuine kindness and concern.  It’s at times like this that I’m reminded that there truly are some fantastic people in my life.

I don’t mean to sound like a complete and utter sap here, but I really am blessed to have such an awesomely supportive and wonderful family. For this, I love them dearly. The same goes for the boy, Christian. He’s been there by my side through every step of this process since my first consultation in St James’ in March this year and has been pretty damn fantastic about everything.

I also have an incredible, yet diverse, group of friends, both old and new who rock my socks off; you know who you are. Thank you all in advance for your patience, love and support (believe me, you’ll need it)

Furthermore, go raibh mile maith agaibh, to two brave and bold cáilini, Ms L & Ms Q; your truth, honesty and advice have been refreshing and inspiring.

Mushiness over! Aside from all that, in preparation for the hospital stay, and three week recovery period, I’ve packed my bags, purchased the sensible (ugly) sports bras, had my family do up a ‘Care Rota’, downloaded more TV shows than you could shake a stick at, and borrowed enough books to stock a mobile library. I think I’m all set.

And there you have it. I’m going to leave you with this upbeat little number from one of my fave Irish bands ever. It’s something I plan on doing about eight weeks after the surgery, so peoples, mark your diaries.


Emotional roller coaster for one……

To say that Monday was a day of highs and lows wouldn’t even begin to cover things!

There really is nothing quite like kick-starting your day on a high by showing a complete stranger your naked boobies. Ok, ok, he wasn’t exactly a stranger; he was my new surgeon in the Blackrock Clinic and this was my first consultation since I’d been referred to him. Anyways, I’m in the waiting room with the boy and all I can think is ‘I hope his hands aren’t cold’; anything to distract me from the task at hand. No pun intended, I swear.

So, I’m finally called to ‘meet my maker’, (well, he is going to make me new boobs) so to speak, and he turned out be a pleasant, professional gentleman who had a no-nonsense attitude and didn’t pull any punches or sugar-coat the upcoming procedure. After the initial chat was over with, it was time to unleash the puppies.

Seriously though, there’s truly nothing more mortifying and humbling than standing in front of a stranger, topless, letting the girls hang out, wild and free.

With the measuring and photographs done it was time to discuss the pros and cons of the surgery. It’s never a pleasant thing to learn that you run a 1% risk of losing your nipples entirely due to this kind of reduction mammoplasty. It’s probably the one part of the procedure that doesn’t sit too comfortably with me, if I’m honest. Fortunately, the pros more than outweigh the cons and I’m going for it.

I’ve been given a surgery date of Saturday 2nd October, which is only over 3 weeks away now. That’s just enough time to prepare but not enough time to panic and freak out.

So, following the super-successful appointment in the Blackrock, I then found myself belting it up the M1 towards Drogheda and the Lourdes hospital for my next consultation. This time to meet the ENT surgeon (Ear, Nose Throat), with whom I had a consultation with in March of this year. It was finally time to get my MRI results…..only 6 months late, but hey, who’s counting.

After a 90 minute wait, my name is eventually called and I am greeted politely by another pleasant doctor-type who informs me that my MRI has shown a small growth between my inner ear and my brain. He tells me not to panic, in a calm and reassuring voice. He tells me that the growth seems to be benign but he’s referring me to a Neurosurgeon to check it out. Again, he tells me not to panic.

At this stage I’m having what can only be described as an outer body experience. I can’t believe what I’m hearing and I feel like I’m watching the scenario unfold from above. This is funny in itself as the reason I’m seeing him is due to my lack of hearing in my left ear. As I try to process what I’ve been told, I’m practically whisked out the door with the Neurosurgeons’ details in hand and I’m sent on my way, dazed and confused. So, this, as you can only imagine, is the low to my high

And there you have it. I’m a crock! If I were a horse I’d be in a glue factory by now. Thankfully I’m not and very soon I’ll have new boobs and no more back, shoulder and neck pain.

Just for the hell of it, here’s a song about doctors……thanks to The Blizzards


Normal transmission will resume soon…..I promise

I’ll be honest, I’ve kinda dropped the ball on the blogging thing in the last week or so but I promise I’ve got a real good excuse. I have actually been busy; busy with something other than shopping, boozing or tweeting that is. Busy studying to be exact!

The new me post-op......blue haired and skinny

I know, I know, I’ve shocked even myself with my adult and sensible approach to my upcoming exam.

It’s all very boring to be honest; I’m doing a Certificate in Mortgage Practice and studying for my first exam which is in ‘Mortgage Advice’ (told you its boring).

Anyhoo, due to the study time involved and the fact that I have NO clue whatsoever about mortgage advice, loans, regulations and the likes, I’m putting my blog on the back-burner until the exam is over.

Don’t worry; it’s not too far away. September 4th is exam day, which will be closely followed by my first appointment with my new surgeon in the Blackrock clinic on Monday 6th September….WOOP!

Now if that isn’t enough of a reason for a big-ass WOOP I don’t know what is?!?!?

Until then, don’t miss me too much. Oh and say a little prayer to the exam gods for me.


Lingering on lingerie

This blog post was inspired by the wonderful, talented and super funny Rosemary MacCabe. She blogs about fashion and stuff on RosemaryMacCabe.com, oh and for the Irish Times at Fash Mob. She recently wrote about the new underwear line from Marks & Spencer; which is chocolate box pretty by the way.

This got me to thinking of my imminent new boobs and how I will need to replace all of my bras. It also has me very excited about the endless possibilities and choices open to me with the new and smaller boobs. Since then I’ve spent hours online drooling at the purty items on Agent Provocateur and Victoria’s Secret;  much like a teenage boy, I imagine.

The thoughts of being able to buy bright, candy coloured bras in every style and shape is mind-blowing.

Pretty, pretty, pretty.

This coming from a gal who has spent most of her adult years in boring black, white and nude sensible brassieres with wide straps and ugly patterns.

I know I’m probably getting ahead of myself here. I suppose it’s something to keep my mind off of the reality of the surgery and the four hour procedure. It’s also something to look forward to and a cheeky way of reminding the boy that he’ll be bringing me shopping when I’m all healed and better.


I finally did it……….

So, I’m finally getting around to this blogging lark. It has been a long time coming but a recent monumental happening in my life has spurred me on and now I feel like sharing it with the world. Those of you closest to me will know what I’m talking about, but for you people out there who don’t have a breeze as to what I’m referring to, I’m talking about “reduction mammoplasty”. Yup, you heard me right, that’s breast reduction surgery in laypersons terms.

Following THREE long years of waiting, I recently found out that I have been accepted as a suitable candidate for breast reduction surgery. To say that I’m excited doesn’t even begin to cover it. On the flipside of that excitement is the nervous panic; but that’s a story for another day.

Let me make one thing clear here before I go any further, this procedure is not for cosmetic reasons, it has been recommended as a medical procedure mainly due to back problems caused by carrying the girls around for many years.

So there you go, this is what has kick-started my foray into the blogosphere. I’m hoping to find it cathartic whilst I’m recovering from surgery; a means of distracting me and keeping my mind off the pain for the three weeks I’m off work. We’ll see though; I’ve a feeling there’ll be mucho whining and tears, lots of watching of old, classic 80’s movies and a ridiculous consumption of ice-cream.

Aside from all that, I’m hoping to say goodbye to these……….

And ‘hello boys’ with these………..