Category Archives: Surgery

The truth of the matter is………

I’m fairly new to this blogging thing and still kinda learning the ropes, so to speak. In saying that, I enjoy it thoroughly. I know at the moment I’m only discussing my boobs, the surgery and the recovery process but this is a personal blog and that’s what is most personal to me right now. In the future I will no doubt blog about many other things as they come into my life.

Today, however, somebody emailed me about my blog and my ‘boob job’ and said, in not such a polite manner, that I talk about it too much. Firstly, I was irritated by the term ‘boob job’. I didn’t have a boob job. I had a ‘bi-lateral reduction mammoplasty’ for very real medical reasons. This wasn’t a cosmetic whim or something I decided to do one lunch time. This was a serious surgery that I had spent years deliberating over and in the end waited for it for quite some time.

For somebody to refer to it as a ‘boob job’ is insulting and disrespectful. No disrespect to implants or augmentation but they’re two very different surgeries. What I went through was over three hours of major invasive surgery. I had 3.5lbs of tissue removed and I was opened open from armpit to armpit. I’ve had both nipples removed and reattached and I now have scars running from my nipples to beneath my breasts. This was definitely no ‘boob job’.

This ain't no 'Boob Job'

I apologise if this offends or repulses anyone, but that’s the reality of the situation. I felt compelled to share this with you, as people seem to be shocked and amazed by the scale of the recovery required following this procedure. The fact is it’s only in the last few days that I’ve been able to shower and get dressed without help. One day soon I’ll be up and active again and this will all seem like a distant memory, but in the meantime, I’m counting down the days until I can do the things I’m unable to do at the minute.

Think about not being able to hug those nearest and dearest to you. It’s the thing I really, really miss the most. There’s so much I’ve missed and so much I’m looking forward to. I’ll be able to sleep in any position other than sitting up, propped by a dozen pillows. Oh and I’ll be allowed to drive. I’m also excited to be able to shave my own legs and paint my own toes again. The thought of never having to wear a sports bra to bed, or wince when I’m putting on my socks, fills me with joy. I’ll even be able to laugh again without hurting.

The list of things I can’t physically do right now is endless and I’m not going to bore you with them. For now I’ll just say that, unfortunately, it’s recovery time and that’s what I have to do.

It won’t last forever………..

P.S: Thanks to Christian and Dena for their input and help on this post.

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My Lovely Lady Lumps

It’s two weeks to the day since the surgery and it has been an eventful time, for sure; well, eventful as it can be for someone who is housebound and totally dependent on her nearest and dearest.

Anyhoo, since I last updated you I’ve been to see my magical surgeon twice; twice this week actually. See, there was a tiny complication, which was only discovered on Monday. Basically, I have partial necrosis of the right nipple areola or righty as I like to call her. The chances of this kind of complication are 0.8%. Yup, you read that correctly and yet I still managed to end up with it. So, necrosis occurs when there isn’t enough blood flow to the tissue and in turn it dies. (Apologies to the squeamish of you out there reading this)

My last visit with the surgeon, yesterday, was a positive one and he seems to think that with a whole heap of “time and hand holding” (his words) things will come good. If that doesn’t work there are always skin grafts. Unfortunately, this does set back the healing process a little but hey, it’ll be totally worth it for a ‘rocking rack’.

Speaking of which, Dena has kindly named my nipples, lefty is Rose and righty is Lucinda; she didn’t think it through very well but her heart was in the right place. She also brought me the most delightful gift last weekend; homemade boobie cupcakes with giant nipples.

Lovely Lady Lumps

They represent my new lady lumps perfectly.


Say hello to my little friends….

It’s Day Three in the New Boobies household and everything seems to be going fine.

I’m sleeping well during the day and at night; despite being in a world of pain that I never knew I could endure. I’ve actually impressed myself with my new and improved pain threshold to be honest. Sure, it’s been aided by the pain meds, but they don’t get to take all the credit.

To rewind a little and update y’all; I had the surgery at 1.30pm on Saturday afternoon, 2nd October. My surgeon, well, he’s awesome. The Blackrock Clinic was superb and the quality of care couldn’t be faulted. The nursing staff there is second to none.

Following just over three hours surgery, I was back in my room & ready for a visit from the folks and Christian by 6.30pm that evening. Seemingly I was highly entertaining in my doped up state. I’ll have to take their word for it as I can’t remember much of it other than being ecstatically happy with my new boobs.

I was sent home on Sunday afternoon, armed with a list of do’s and don’ts and an arsenal of pain relief where I was welcomed with this adorable homemade poster courtesy of my sister, Lynn and nieces, Jude (9yrs old) and Millie (4yrs old).

Since then, I’ve spent most of my time sleeping, reading, watching TV and being waited on hand and foot by various members of my family. They are incredible and I’m genuinely thankful. The care rota is working out well with the priceless addition of a baby monitor, I might add, so they can hear me when I holler for ‘em. To be fair though, I am pretty helpless and hugely dependent on them for even the simplest of tasks. Your pride really does take a backseat as soon as you have to be aided with trips to the loo, getting dressed and undressed and all other manner of regular and mundane tasks.

Aside from all that, I’m doing wonderfully. The recovery is slow and arduous, but the results outweigh this minor detail a million times over. I’m now practically chomping at the bit for my first official outing with ‘the new girls’ where they get to meet their devoted followers.

So, I think that brings y’all up to date on BoobieGate. Speaking of which, ladies, what do you call your boobs? Boys, what do you refer to them as? There’s the obvious boobies, breasts, mammaries, cha-cha’s, itty bitty titties (thanks Dena) fun-bags, melons, muffins, but what else do we call them? Just throw up your offering on the auld comment box there; it’s good for a chuckle. Plus, I’ll post a full list of names when you’re done.

Only thing left to say today is to remind everyone out there that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month; ladies check your boobs and please donate anywhere you can.

Other than that,  THANK YOU.

Thank you so much to everyone who has read this blog. Thank you for the comments here, on Facebook and Twitter.

Thanks to everyone for the texts, calls and emails. Your kind words, help and advice have been overwhelming and unprecedented.  As I like to say a lot, YOU ROCK!

P.S: Gracias to Lynn for typing up this blog post for me.


It’s the final countdown

In the past I’ve been known to be a complete stress-ball and total panic merchant, especially when it comes to major events in my life. Now for some reason I’m not, and my cool and calm demeanour has left me slightly bemused.

I’m not saying it’s a bad thing. I actually welcome the tranquil headspace. The truth of the matter is that I haven’t had the time to think about the reality of the situation ahead of me. I’ve been so slammed with work and overtime and gigs and catching up with friends and travelling home to see the family, I’ve been in quite the tailspin of late.

This evening though, it finally dawned on me that I’ve only SIX days to go. A mere six days left with the girls before they’re minimised and perkified. This served no purpose other than to remind me that I’m putting my life, and boobs, in the hands of one man. Thankfully, this man is good, he’s better than good actually and probably one of the top surgeons in his field in Europe; this fact goes a long way to reassuring me again that all will be fine.

In the past week people have been asking me “are you all set for the surgery”, ehm, yes. “Are you worried about it?” eh, thanks for the inappropriate query, but feck off. “Do you need any help with anything?” And this is where I’ve been overwhelmed with people’s genuine kindness and concern.  It’s at times like this that I’m reminded that there truly are some fantastic people in my life.

I don’t mean to sound like a complete and utter sap here, but I really am blessed to have such an awesomely supportive and wonderful family. For this, I love them dearly. The same goes for the boy, Christian. He’s been there by my side through every step of this process since my first consultation in St James’ in March this year and has been pretty damn fantastic about everything.

I also have an incredible, yet diverse, group of friends, both old and new who rock my socks off; you know who you are. Thank you all in advance for your patience, love and support (believe me, you’ll need it)

Furthermore, go raibh mile maith agaibh, to two brave and bold cáilini, Ms L & Ms Q; your truth, honesty and advice have been refreshing and inspiring.

Mushiness over! Aside from all that, in preparation for the hospital stay, and three week recovery period, I’ve packed my bags, purchased the sensible (ugly) sports bras, had my family do up a ‘Care Rota’, downloaded more TV shows than you could shake a stick at, and borrowed enough books to stock a mobile library. I think I’m all set.

And there you have it. I’m going to leave you with this upbeat little number from one of my fave Irish bands ever. It’s something I plan on doing about eight weeks after the surgery, so peoples, mark your diaries.


Emotional roller coaster for one……

To say that Monday was a day of highs and lows wouldn’t even begin to cover things!

There really is nothing quite like kick-starting your day on a high by showing a complete stranger your naked boobies. Ok, ok, he wasn’t exactly a stranger; he was my new surgeon in the Blackrock Clinic and this was my first consultation since I’d been referred to him. Anyways, I’m in the waiting room with the boy and all I can think is ‘I hope his hands aren’t cold’; anything to distract me from the task at hand. No pun intended, I swear.

So, I’m finally called to ‘meet my maker’, (well, he is going to make me new boobs) so to speak, and he turned out be a pleasant, professional gentleman who had a no-nonsense attitude and didn’t pull any punches or sugar-coat the upcoming procedure. After the initial chat was over with, it was time to unleash the puppies.

Seriously though, there’s truly nothing more mortifying and humbling than standing in front of a stranger, topless, letting the girls hang out, wild and free.

With the measuring and photographs done it was time to discuss the pros and cons of the surgery. It’s never a pleasant thing to learn that you run a 1% risk of losing your nipples entirely due to this kind of reduction mammoplasty. It’s probably the one part of the procedure that doesn’t sit too comfortably with me, if I’m honest. Fortunately, the pros more than outweigh the cons and I’m going for it.

I’ve been given a surgery date of Saturday 2nd October, which is only over 3 weeks away now. That’s just enough time to prepare but not enough time to panic and freak out.

So, following the super-successful appointment in the Blackrock, I then found myself belting it up the M1 towards Drogheda and the Lourdes hospital for my next consultation. This time to meet the ENT surgeon (Ear, Nose Throat), with whom I had a consultation with in March of this year. It was finally time to get my MRI results…..only 6 months late, but hey, who’s counting.

After a 90 minute wait, my name is eventually called and I am greeted politely by another pleasant doctor-type who informs me that my MRI has shown a small growth between my inner ear and my brain. He tells me not to panic, in a calm and reassuring voice. He tells me that the growth seems to be benign but he’s referring me to a Neurosurgeon to check it out. Again, he tells me not to panic.

At this stage I’m having what can only be described as an outer body experience. I can’t believe what I’m hearing and I feel like I’m watching the scenario unfold from above. This is funny in itself as the reason I’m seeing him is due to my lack of hearing in my left ear. As I try to process what I’ve been told, I’m practically whisked out the door with the Neurosurgeons’ details in hand and I’m sent on my way, dazed and confused. So, this, as you can only imagine, is the low to my high

And there you have it. I’m a crock! If I were a horse I’d be in a glue factory by now. Thankfully I’m not and very soon I’ll have new boobs and no more back, shoulder and neck pain.

Just for the hell of it, here’s a song about doctors……thanks to The Blizzards


Normal transmission will resume soon…..I promise

I’ll be honest, I’ve kinda dropped the ball on the blogging thing in the last week or so but I promise I’ve got a real good excuse. I have actually been busy; busy with something other than shopping, boozing or tweeting that is. Busy studying to be exact!

The new me post-op......blue haired and skinny

I know, I know, I’ve shocked even myself with my adult and sensible approach to my upcoming exam.

It’s all very boring to be honest; I’m doing a Certificate in Mortgage Practice and studying for my first exam which is in ‘Mortgage Advice’ (told you its boring).

Anyhoo, due to the study time involved and the fact that I have NO clue whatsoever about mortgage advice, loans, regulations and the likes, I’m putting my blog on the back-burner until the exam is over.

Don’t worry; it’s not too far away. September 4th is exam day, which will be closely followed by my first appointment with my new surgeon in the Blackrock clinic on Monday 6th September….WOOP!

Now if that isn’t enough of a reason for a big-ass WOOP I don’t know what is?!?!?

Until then, don’t miss me too much. Oh and say a little prayer to the exam gods for me.